Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Eat yellow paint and die

Sometimes I wish that someone could just follow me around all day and watch all the weird stuff I do. I know those of you who know me personally would probably agree that I do funny things sometimes and it's almost a waste of entertainment for the world for me to be the only one to witness my epic fails.

For example:
The other day in art class--we were painting. Me, having new paints I had to open the seal of my little jar to get my paint to come out. Simple right? For me?


The yellow paints seal was so flippin secure that I tried opening it with my teeth. It worked, but upon opening it yellow ooze escaped from its container and BAMM! Instant yellow teeth-ification. In my mouth and everything...


The class mind you was being dead silent and me not knowing what to do I ran to the sink, grabbed a paper towel and started dabbing because we all know we don't swipe unless I wanted a huge yellow jokers smile.  Crazy watching yourself spit yellow btw...


At this point I was remembering a section of lecture where my professor was taking about how toxic paint was nowadays and I thought, great. I've eaten yellow paint and now I'm going to die along with dying from embarrassment as my whole class watches me huck yellow lugies from my teeth.


I eventually ceased spitting medium cadmium yellow and returned to my chair quickly grabbing at my phone to make sure I don't have it smeared all over my hello face. I didn't see anyone looking at me which was lucky.  Either that or they felt so bad for the special girl at the front of the class...

But I'd rather think they were probably too busy trying to figure out how to divide up their 12 colored color wheel into equal sections. Yes, I feel like I'm a super learner now that I've graduated from knowing my primary colors up to my intermediary colors. My mother's so proud I'm sure.

And dare I mention the special shirt that I have to bring to class when I paint?  The first day of painting I was a not so super of a listener and wore my new mauve skinny pants and my favorite denim H&M shirt.  I thought I was hot stuff.

Not so hot stuff with blue paint on my new shirt.  So now I have wear Spunky's old DI'ed long sleeve shirt that I was supposed to DI months ago, but haven't-which it ended up working in my favor- plus one point for me.  But take away a point for looking like a special ed student that has to wear special clothes so she doesn't spill.

Oh land.

And a word to the wise, but take your hungry 16 month old grocery shopping and let him "sit" in the basket with the food- ( I say "sit" because he doesn't really sit.  Well, unless you count him sitting on the milk jug sideways...)
This is what happens:

Don't let your hungry 16 month-old go grocery shopping hungry.  He'll try to eat everything. But you probably already know that.

Poor kid was even trying to open the graham crackers I had in my cart.  I do feed my kids..


I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to go grocery shopping at 6:30 at night. Then when you get home you have to a watch a movie while you put groceries away and make dinner.  Then it takes 10 minutes to put on jammies while they're still watching the movie. Then they have to finish the movie.  Then the movie magically ends without ending while you heard them to brush teeth.  Then they don't lay down until you sing them a song.  Then snuggle time with all of their "friends" in your bed becomes a must.  Then they want to read a book in the living room..and don't forget to rock back and forth in the rocking chair.

Enter 10:44 and you're just getting them (one of them) tucked in bed.  Ok.  Harv was easy to put to bed.  Being corralled in his crib he cried for 2 minutes and was out.  That was easy.  Except you forgot that earlier he peed on the couch and you forgot to clean it up cuz you were trying to put clothes on Everlie so you could go to the grocery store.  (We had paint the tubby time today).

Ready for homework yet?


Was able to get it done, which made me happy.  Now to go to bed for reals...it's midnight for cryin' out loud!!

What are some of your "special" moments... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with epic fails.  Or at least make one up to make me feel better about myself.   Pretty please.

Until next time....

Much love,


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Ash! You are superwoman. I would love to follow you around to see how you do it all. Love the painting.


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