This month has been a whirlwind of finishing up my first semester back at school, finals, trying to get caught up on Christmas orders at work, battling my perma-messy house, a birthday, Christmas shopping...
(cue Celine Dion)
the list could go on. And on.
What I find myself struggling with most is the battle with my brand-new, just-turned, three-year-old.
I know that she is just doing what three-year-olds do best, i.e. trying to get on my nerves, but lately I've been threatening to sell her to the zoo. I told her she could live with the zebras for all I care, I just want her to listen me.
Like that went over well.
Today was tough as I was clearing out my over-neglected email inbox since I don't know where in the heck to start with my (GROSS!) house, and I was reading through blogs that I have subscribed to while they were crying, yelling, yanking on my arms and legs and any other part of my body that was available to badger. I read a post about a gal that just lost a baby 9 weeks in and it brought up a lot of emotions for me--
I lost my first pregnancy about that same time and it just hurt me. I hurt for her loss, I hurt because I was yelling at my kids to give me a break to relax and enjoy something for 10 seconds, and it hurt because it became so real to me again. How fast you could lose something so dear to your heart.
Not sure why today of all days it seems I've been bombarded with stories of struggle from others and I honestly am so blessed.
Somedays it's just harder for me to remember it.
My kids are healthy, beautiful, intelligent and I have a home that I love, (and am already writing down ideas to change for 2014) a hard working and dedicated husband that gets to come home to me each night...so why do I let myself get so frustrated?
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I'm not going to propose a million and one Pinterest proven ideas of ways to "be better", but one word does come to mind, especially having to do with this celebratory season of Christ and that is simply, LOVE.
With LOVE you can do so many things. I know I would feel completely lost without it. And yet sometimes it is so hard for me to remember how to be an example of it.
The holidays are so stressful. So stressful. It seems everyone is in a bustle, and busy, and running here and there. I guess why I'm writing this post is to express what I'm feeling so passionate about at the moment and that is to just simply take the time, even if just a moment to remember to LOVE. LOVE one another. Whether what religion you have, LOVE is the one constant that we all have on this Earth. Everyone needs it and everyone needs to receive it.
So in that light,
To everyone special in my life near and far I wish to send you my LOVE on this day and through the rest of this season. I have many blessings I call friends and family in my life and I truly am grateful for each of you, no matter how insignificant you think your impact is on me. I do think of each of you often, I'm just very horrible about expressing it- calling, texting, messaging, going to visit... Simply horrible. Something that I need to be better at. Maybe Pinterest has a post about that... if so, be a dear and let me know?
I'm not going to promise more posts out of me until I can get the reins called my life back under control. I don't know when that will be. I have people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them the load I have and maybe I am. Maybe that's why I forget to remember so much, but for once in my life I feel like I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing. Which is so stupidly funny to me. I'm happiest when I have a plateful plus a mouth full of food that I'm trying to che... it's ridiculous.
I LOVE you, my readers. Whoever you are out there.. I think you're awesome sauce and please know this blog will get awesome one day. One day...
I have super big plans and I intend to go through with them, it's just going to take time, so again, please be patient with me.
I'm crying like a boob, just FYI... not sure why. Maybe it's finally a release of all the stresses that I've been under, but I'm just letting it go. Pretty attractive mental pic, right? You're either laughing or crying with me at this point, but know that I do LOVE you dear stranger, who ever you may be. :)
Carry on and don't care what a three year old thinks of you when you don't let her watch Mickey Mouse's Three Musketeers for the umpteenth time...
(sigh)
That's my advice to you.
Can I just tell you she can jerk out some real legit alligator tears in like 5.3 seconds? It's unbelievable. Gosh dang. Seriously if you have some advice on how to get through the next 351 days, please let me know. It's not
that bad, but I need a freakin' bone thrown at me here.
Maybe to get me through it, comment something funny to me so I can laugh. One liners, movie quotes, jokes, whatev.
Now I'm just rambling and I have a Mt. Everest of laundry to fold and my kitchen stinks so bad from my days old dishes.
If you know my husband tell him I just want a cleaning lady for Christmas. And some socks. He has stolen ALL of my socks and stretched them out and ruined them. My feet are cold.
K. Ramblings over and out.
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.
Much love,
-a
